Bible of Corruption

2006-11-28T18:23:00.000+08:00

Listening : Out Of The Shadows ; Iron Maiden

So wat the fuck kind of reaction did u expect to have? U dun simply walk out on the person without a word of bye then come back 3 years later and tell me tat kid's mine when i din even knoe of his existence this 3 whole years. Things don't work that way girl.

My lasik's tmr. Fuck that means from tmr on. there will be no clubbing no vigourous sport no contact sport and i haf to wear sunglasses even at NIGHT for 1 whole month. stupidest thing i ever heard. laying a ban on me from clubbing and sex for 1 entire month? tat's unacceptable. i knoe sex is a contact sport. BUT BUT..... forget it.

Juz had like 3 whole hours of test for my eyes. tat's like almost 50 test. omg. now i haf a headache from the hurting eye. and the sun is juz blinding. And i gotta cancel tmr's zouk! fuck fuck!

As the guards bring me out to the courtyard;
Somebody cries from a cell, "God be with you!"
If there's a god then why does he let me die?
Take me to the gallows!

2006-11-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

Listening : Different Worlds ; Iron Maiden

This crazy bugger on my right is in project superstar. Cannot believe rite? Too bad u sing pop and i'm into rock and death metal. Probably the only song i like tat u sing is "Beautiful" haha. The chinese songs, nv even heard of it.

So today went to pick my sis up from esplanade. Had her dance performance today. and sadly i din get tickets to watch it. haiz. so at like 1030pm after picking her up. she kept complaining about wanting to go home. rah tat's so early. so i got home at like 1130pm today.

On sat i saw one of the best drummers around in singapore in the asian beat compy. down at plaza sing. At 1st i was like fuk he's so damn good being able to move his legs tat fast. then after awhile i realize he was using a double pedal for base. and suddenly he wasn't tat good after all. haha. took tat impressiveness off.

Tired.

The war has begun!

2006-11-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

Listening : Hallowed Be Thy Name ; Cradle Of Filth

GOD! I wish i can sing like tat. Haha. How fuckin ownage is tat guy's voice man. My idol band. wahahha. 1 of the best death metal arnd. Join the cults. The new era has begun. Let ur satanic nature rule.

Here's the lyrics!

I'm waiting in my cold cell, when the bell begins to chime;
Reflecting on my past life, and it doesn't have much time;
'Cause at 5 o'clock, they take me to the Gallows pole;
The sands of time, for me are running low...

Mother fuckers!

Running low...

When the priest comes to read me the last rights;
I take a look through the bars at the last sights;
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me...

Could it be that there's some sort of error?
Hard to stop the surmounting terror;
Is it really the end or some crazy dream?

Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming;
It's not easy to stop from screaming;
Words escape me when I try to speak...

Tears, they flow; but why am I crying?
After all, I'm not afraid of dying;
Do not believe that there never is an end...

As the guards bring me out to the courtyard;
Somebody cries from a cell, "God be with you!"
If there's a god then why does he let me die?

As I walk, all my life drifts before me;
And though the end is near, I'm not sorry;
Catch my soul, it's willing to fly away...

Mark my words, believe my soul lives on;
Don't worry, now that I have gone;
I've gone beyond to see the truth...

So when you know that your time is close at hand;
Maybe then you'll begin to understand;
Life down there is just a strange illusion...

2006-11-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

Listening : Hallowed Be Thy Name ; Cradle Of Filth

I Don't Love You Like I Loved You Yesterday.

Walkin out of the shadows of ur past life tat clouds ur present is so much harder than it seems.

DON'T STALK ME! DON'T THINK U CAN CONTROL ME! U DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I CAN DO!

2006-11-23T21:53:00.000+08:00

Listening : Call Me When You're Sober ; Evanescence

Evanescence new album is pretty much a disappointment. But here it is. The 2 best songs of the album. Call Me When You're Sober and Lithium. This version of Lithium is nothing like the 1 by Nirvana. So listen to it. Amy Lee! Where's all the darkness in the previous album anywhere but home? This album is like pure meekness.

And for those of u who don't know. Lithium is an element. And lithium particles r used in anti-depressant drugs. Giving a certain anti-depressant the medical term Lithium.

Spectacular Number 1.
I pierced my lips!

This is Call Me When You're Sober Lyrics.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Should I let you fall?
Lose it all?
So maybe you can remember yourself.
Can't keep believing,
We're only deceiving ourselves .
And I'm sick of the lie,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

Couldn't take the blame.
Sick with shame.
Must be exhausting to lose your own game.
Selfishly hated,
No wonder you're jaded.
You can't play the victim this time,
And you're too late.

Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.

You never call me when you're sober.
You only want it cause it's over,
It's over.
How could I have burned paradise?
How could I - you were never mine.

So don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
Don't lie to me,
Just get your things.
I've made up your mind.

2006-11-21T23:04:00.000+08:00

Listening : All Or Nothing ; O-Town

I know when he's been on your mind
That distant look is in your eyes
I thought with time you'd realize it's over, over
It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's gotta give
A share in this relationship gets older, older

You know I'd fight for you but how could I fight
someone who isn't even there
I've had the rest of you now I want the best of
you I don't care if that's not fair

Cuz I want it allOr nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

There are time it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart but I don't show it , show it
Then there's times you look at me
As thought I'm all that you could see
Those times I don't believe it's right I know it , know it

Don't make me promises baby you never did
know how to keep them well
I had the rest of you now I want the best
of you it's time to show and tell

Cuz I want it all
Or nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all
Or are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

Cuz you and I
Could lose it all if you've got no more room
Nowhere inside for me in your life

Cuz I want it all
Or Nothing at all
There's nowhere left to fall
It's now or never

Is it all
Or Nothing at all
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it allOr are we just friends
Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

I'm telling my story with this song. Bye Bye blog. i gonna close u down soon. Eventually everything comes to an end. It just matter how spectacular u make the ending.

NOW LET ME SHOW U! HOW FUCKING SPECTACULAR MINE IS!

2006-11-19T23:21:00.000+08:00

Listening : My Last Breath ; Evanescence

Yea! finally fallen sick. Got drum lessons and job interview early in the morning. haiz. gonna lack sleep again! Something's lacking. there's tat emptiness.

Vivo is a nice place. just tat it's F.U.C.K.I.N.G crowded. Like literally suffocating. but the shopping part. there's really nice stuff! okok so here's the deal. CALYN U'RE FUCKING SWAY!
everytime go out with u no cab 1. zzz. and for goodness sake finish ur food! 3 years alr and u still havent change. still sharing food with me. I tink u can call me ah pa soon alr. -.- RAH!

Need sleep!!

Sorry babe. I nv meant to upset u. Nv did with my words nor my actions. But somehow i seem to always nv fail in doing so.

2006-11-18T14:22:00.000+08:00

Listening : My Immortal ; Evanescence

Wat happened last nite. will be left at last nite. kept in the back of our memories. so let's not bring it up. (: it was fun guys ( and few girls ). Life is simple. So keep it simple. It's nuttin more than u being dead and me alive. there's no sympathy for the dead. Welcome to the dark side. Evanescence is the darkest of all.

My immortal lyrics.

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave'
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]

2006-11-16T20:50:00.000+08:00

Listening : Haunted ; Evanescence

Headache! Lack sleep! So much work to do.
Stop bullshitting me already. I'm bleeding and breathing no more.
I found the tattoos i wanted.

Breathe no more : Evanescence

[Piano Solo Opening]

I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her,
And I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no more.

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.
Lie to me,
Convince me that I've been sick forever.
And all of this,
Will make sense when I get better.
But I know the difference,
Between myself and my reflection.
I just can't help but to wonder,
Which of us do you love.
So I bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe no...
Bleed,
I bleed,
And I breathe,
I breathe,
I breathe-
I breathe no more.

[Piano Solo Ending]

2006-11-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

Listening : Missing ; Evanescence

Step up is such a good movie! congrats hun! finally passed ur driving! see! i'm ur lucky charm! better treasure me.

I wan to learn dancing!

2006-11-13T20:32:00.000+08:00

Listening : Pitiful ; Blindside

I'm dead tired. Rah! gonna fall sick soon. Fuck u nik. Today totally wasted my time. 1 hour to get ready. 2 hours to travel. 4 hours in ur fucking skool. If u say something. Under all circumstances keep it. if not at least haf the fucking courtesy to inform the person. Fucking pissed me off.

Miss u hun. DW. I'll respect ur decision. Just be happy. (:

Life's not like acting. There are no retakes.

2006-11-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

Listening : Maybe Tomorrow ; Stereophonics

Thx hun. Appreciated it. Simple unhealthy dinner. yet it tasted so good. haha. and the searching of java books in the library and then grocery shopping. i enjoyed myself.

Somehow some things just felt different in a certain way. Dun know wat. but it just did. this friday will be the bomb!

and yes hun. i'll pray everyday that u'll pass ur driving test this wed! Study hard!

Sorry if i ever said anything to upset u or done things u din like.
But if u ask me "would u still love me in the morning?"
I'll answer u "forever and ever babe"

2006-11-12T05:40:00.000+08:00

Listening : I've Become What I've Always Hated ; Saosin

Finally back in singapore. 7 frens over and we're drinking like crazy. lol. gotta go out tomorrow. see u tomorrow hun. forever and ever babe.

2006-11-10T03:26:00.000+08:00

Listening : My Consolation ; Silverstein

So so. 615 am in the morning. i'm back to Silverstein again. Fatigue hasnt caught up with me at the very least bit. I'm off to my final exam in 3 hrs time. and in approximately 6 hours i'll be done with this part of my life forever. and tomorrow i'll be going back. yet going back doesnt seem as desirable as be4. it's just another place. well i'm going back to my books. i seriously forgot every single detail about wat today's exam was about last nite.

I guess the kind of life i should be leading is simple huh. just being emotionless will settle it all. the biggest question here is really wat r the kind of people that doesnt get angry no matter wat? people that don't care. well after all it was all my fault. Yea for about 60 secs approximately i felt fucking sensitive and childish. in 10 mins i broke a promise. for about 1/2 an hour i wasnt a nice person to be having any form of socialisation with. but i tot we made a deal tat we were gonna remind each other to be nice people when we're not? well this is my reminder.

So anws the sun is fucking bright today. today i realize the reason theres light in this world. do u know why? bet u dun. haha fuck i've been at this for 45 mins already. and i still havent finish typing. and going thru it i probably would haf summarised everything i said in 3 words (LOAD OF BULLCRAP) but really 1 word (BULLSHIT) would haf done the job perfectly.

Sorry guys. no dinner and no karaoke tonight. even though it's my last day but just cant drag myself out. i'll be heading home after school. so i'm sorry. BUT guys seriously i don't mean this sorry. i just CBF going out with u guys. coz i just wrecked my own life in the split of a second. cool or? so wat do u call a guy without ego or pride or reason or honour? i ditched my principles for something that comes with serious doubt. this is when some1 askes u. "dude, holy crap! where r ur nuts?" , then u'll be like "ha. god knows. probably hiding in doramon's bag". and then i'll be asking " wtf r u 2 on about? god u guys have such a bad sense of humour." ok now u would be wondering, wtf am i talking about. well we got 1 thing in common then. coz i would tell u. i'm wondering the very same thing. so nah seriously. wat am i on about?

chances never came easy. but can i ask for 1 more?

The Ransom ; Escape The Fate

Sending shivers right down your spine
It's something that you're prone to so divine
You were better at lies (I was never surprised)
at the way that it felt
Now feel the blade (I was always insane)
but you're the one that needs help

(Quick!) We have the ransom
Tell me how that you can swim when ropes are wrapped around your limbs
(Below!) There's no more chances
So tell me now that you can swim when ropes are wrapped around your limbs

Breathing slowly never worked for me
I cut the throat of betrayal to watch him bleed
a poetic sonnet passion that I scream to the sky
I'm tearing up I feel your love don't leave me behind
a poetic sonnet passion that I scream to the sky
I'm tearing up I feel your love please don't leave me behind

The smell of vanity went away
I followed streetlights till I wound up at your place
We traced our veins (we bled for days)
The current was strong enough tonight
I can taste any more
It lasted on my tongue
You weren't strong enough to say

(Quick!) We have the ransom
Tell me how that you can swim when ropes are wrapped around your limbs
(Below!) There's no more chances
So tell me now that you can swim when ropes are wrapped around your limbs

Grab my heart
Take this down
With your soul
and bury it in the ground
Go

I talked to you today
I heard the tremble in your voice cradle the fall
I know you'll never change so please just hold on
I know it's hard for you
it's hard to understand betrayal within
there is a fine line between betrayal (betrayal) and your friends

Tell me how that you can swim when ropes are wrapped around your limbs
(Quick!) We have the ransom
So tell me how that you can swim when ropes are wrapped around your limbs

2006-11-09T10:40:00.000+08:00

Listening : Any Time Any Day ; Five Times August

U don't know how u touch my life.
In so many ways i just can't describe.
U taught me what love is suppose to be.
It's all the little things that makes u beautiful to me.

Seesshhh... seriously guys. I don't get wtf u all r emo about. it's like u pass tat stage then u came back and try to go thru it all over again. looking for trouble or wat? and becoz u all r emo and by consoling u all u end up sayin stuff tat make me emo. -.- there r just some unsaid unverified taboos. anws forget the shit stuff.

let's see. there's today. there's tomorrow. then there's i'm back in singapore! guess who's the person i wan to see the most? haha. that song's for u. What Makes You Different Makes You Beautiful. and do we really haf to watch korean drama series? o.0 i watch chinese i already dun understand. now korean. i tink u gonna take a long long time explaining to me.

2006-11-08T10:29:00.000+08:00

Listening : Soul Meets Body ; Death Cab For Cutie

SO so so. This is it. Today shall be remained in a druken stupor with a partial high on marijuna and lots of tobacco. Well cant blame me since it's so fucking god damn boring!

So don't bother bout the gibberish tat comes out from my mouth today. I don't know half the shit i'm saying. Anws if u dun like it and wan to make a comment. This is for ur info.

I don't give a fuck wat u think. Get it?

2006-11-07T16:51:00.000+08:00

Listening : Heaven Help Us ; My Chemical Romance

This is an unreleased song by MCR. and without doubt it's pretty darn good.

I just had the most curry and vegetables in a single meal during dinner in my entire life. We went to a thai restaurant. 6 of us. Had green pad, red pad, yellow pad and munung pad, btw pad here refers to curry. Had fish, beef, chicken and coconut rice with a hell lot of vegetables. god and i hate tat green and white stuff that's suppose to be nutritious for u. Complimented with 2 bottles of merlot and a bottle of jack daniel's. great dinner! one of the best i ever had in aus.

So i changed my flight earlier so i can get back on sat nite. hope tis pleases both sides. so guys we'll haf a drink up tat nite at my place and so u can let me off on sunday without whining. haha. love u's all.

2006-11-06T12:29:00.000+08:00

Listening : Disenchanted ; My Chemical Romance

Today Mr Sean Homebound was made into Cuddle Bear. No diff from a soft toy. -.- lol. Just spent 10 mins washing off all tat lipstick from my face. So today. 6th of Nov i got the most number of kisses and hugs in a day ever in my entire life. lol. I guess this is it guys. It's goodbye (hopefully not forever by most likely forever). haha. Sorry i had to leave so soon. But there's some1 i really really gotta see. haha. Sorry but i guess the fact is tat u guys juz dun matter tat much. lol. Harsh but true :p.

So this is for u guys. Sweetest goodbye by Maroon 5.

I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

I had the sweestest goodbye that i ever did receive. thanks guys. U knoe i still love u all. :D

Part 2 will be this friday with my business class. HAHA.

2006-11-05T19:37:00.000+08:00

Listening : We Might Fall ; Ryan Star

now that we are older, i remember you
wishing that you'd show me all the things that i must do
now that we are older, i remember you
now that we are closer, we're close to finding truth

I had so much to type be4 i open the IE. after logging into my blog and staring at tis screen. i'm at an utter lost for words. Mayb all i wanted to ever say was not to say anything at all. This world was never really meant for all of us in the 1st place. And now i don't even understand what i'm saying. hmm mayb it's karma. i'm paying back for all the mistakes i made. All the wrongs i did.

To be, or not to be, that is the question -
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them. To die, to sleep -
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The head-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to- 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep -
To sleep, perhance to dream. Ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life,
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th'oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of disprized love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office , and the spurns
That patient merit of th'unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus consience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry
And lose the name of action. Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered.

By art thou death fear? Just regrets of leaving those undone. By the pangs of time we are expected to meet thy goals. That expected of us are but restrictions by nature's law that is said to be basic requirements of a substantial life.

Mayb all i ever wanted to hear were 3 simple words.
Mayb all i ever wanted to see was nothing more than 3 simple letters.
Mayb all i ever wanted to feel was nothing more than 3 simple actions.
Mayb we would have known nothing more than 3 short months.
Mayb it all ends with 3 simple people.
Saying 3 simple things.
Doing 3 simple actions.
Walking 3 different ways.

2006-11-05T12:00:00.000+08:00

Listening : Clear To Pass ; Antiskeptic

I swear every1 arnd me is turning gay. zzz. This was my convo with nik on msn earlier today.

Nik: Wait before i go tell me you love me. lol.
Sean: Wtf! ok you love me nik. go go.
Nik: No! tell me YOU love ME. not literally you love me.
Sean: Yes! i knoe. YOU love ME!
Nik: FUK! tell me i love you.
Sean: okok. u love me. zzz.
Nik: ..... SAY " I LOVE YOU " to me! say it you.....
Sean: "I LOVE YOU" to me!
Nik: fucker, bye.
Sean: lol! bye.
Nik: AND EH i was thinking....

FUK he damn naggy rite? say wan go off still keep talkin. zzz... fuk man. and wat's wrong with all of u? i said i dun bend that way! anws the rest of the convo is *censored*... boring boring weekend. i dun wan anymore boring weekends! it's like a bird that its wings has been clipped together and can't fly anymore! RAH! i need to go shopping shopping and shopping and shopping! And hun wished me happy bdae 4 days be4 my bdae. -.-! bet is coz later she scared she forget by the time my bdae. so wish me now. lol! rite hun? rite rite?

2006-11-04T17:11:00.000+08:00

Listening : Lonely Ones ; Rise Electric

How can i live,
How can i die.
Y do i feel this all the time?
Everyword i say is true.
I just want to forget you.
I will be the lonely one.

Sorry that i juz CBF about everything. i'm just trying to hide. Everyday i question my heart. Y izit still hurting? I don't care to see u again. The torture was more than the moment i was with u.
The pressure is more than i can take. Now that i'm gone u knoe wat u've done. U've turn me into ur disease. Like into my eyes. Tell it in my face. It was never worth it.

I juz dyed my hair black. and it's seriously black now.

2006-11-03T10:16:00.000+08:00

Listening : Losing My Religion ; Ryan Star

Today i had a crap messed up weird day. I woke up really really late coz my alarm din go off and i only had 10 mins to get ready shower and everything then rushed to the exam hall. when i was getting ready. i knocked my cup over and spilled coffee all over my table. but i was in such a hurry i din even clean it up and went out. Got to skool and i had to do exam which be4 i even looked at the paper i knew i was gonna do crap. and i was so so so sleepy. wat a crap mood to be in. Then after the exam i missed the bus to go home. zzzzz. had to wait an hour for the next bus. then on the bus. i saw the queerest shit ever. On the bus i saw a drunkard who was swearing to himself juz abt every 5 secs, 2 girls tat were like 8 and were full on making out like kissing and touching all over. and tis other girl tat's like 18 who was full on singing really loudly and going psycho. bet she was on dope. geez. wat's the world coming to. though it's common to see drunkards but not like during midday. zzz. and 8 year old lesbians? puts me off.

Ain't my day juz been great? some1 tell me it is. zzz. i'm off to sleep. dead tired.

That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spotlight.
Losing my religion.
Trying to keep up with u.
And I don't know if i can do it.
Oh no i've said too much.
Haven't said at all.

I thought that i heard you laughing.
I thought that i heard you say.
I think i thought i saw u change.
That was just a dream.
To try cry why try.
That was just a dream.
Just a dream.

I think it's all but a dream.

2006-11-02T10:11:00.000+08:00

Listening : Cancer ; My Chemical Romance

Exams tomorrow again! fuk. And guess wat i juz got my army enlistment letter. omg fuk. zzzzzz. SOME1 GIVE ME A GOD DAMN BREAK!
I'm going back to sleep. and for some reason or another all my frenz r like turning into fucking gays and spammers. so let me say this again.
I get wat u're saying so juz say it once! and stop gaying with me! i dun bend tat way!

2006-11-01T16:04:00.000+08:00

Listening : House of Wolves ; My Chemical Romance

Juz got home from 2 exams today. omg. fucking tired and brain dead. tat's 4 down and 3 to go. 7 days to my birthday and 11 days to homecoming. OMG cant wait. so near yet so far.

So so guess wat. we were talking abt pick up lines todae again. haha. and all pick up lines r BS. besides tis one most original most straight-forward and most effective 1.

"Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?"

okok back to the exams. for economics. i din knoe half the shit i was writing. lol! seriously who the fuck studies tis shit? it's like history in money terms. zzz. stupid huh?

This world is realistic.
Nothing but materialistic.
Everything is plastic.
Ain't it just fantastic?

2006-10-31T19:15:00.000+08:00

Listening : One Last Breath ; Creed

I'm looking down now that it's over
Reflecting on all of my mistakes
I thought I found the road to somewhere
Somewhere in His grace
I cried out heaven save me
But I'm down to one last breath
And with it let me say
Let me say

Hold me now
I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking
That maybe six feet
Ain't so far down

Mayb i'm really done to one last breath. To do this all. Crying out to heaven to save me. So let me say. I'm sick of all this shit. Sick of these fucking paper. Sick of missing every1. Sick of this fucking country. Sick of u. Sick of me. So please come hold me now. I might be six feet from the edge but it feels like i'm six feet over the edge. Each min drains me more mentally, physically and emotionally.

How it feels to be so helpless. I knoe it all. So much u wan to do yet u cant do. Y r we all tied down by responsibilities tat hurt us? Don't we all only live once? Tat's y it makes life so valuable and wonderful. So y arent we living it the way we wan to all the time? 9-5 jobs, school, all the unworthy desires like money, pointless waste of time like infatuations, tied down by all these liabilities. God save tis world. People shld start breaking out of their fucking nutshells and think. Every1 is juz following a system right now. What diff r they from robots then? Am i the only 1 thinking straight?! But wtf am i doing then? Thinking straight yet i haf to follow tis fucked up trend to survive. Fuck our ancestors. Who said the current way every1 is living is the right way to go about tis?

I should be like king. And every1 follow me. Coz i'm the right way as to how to lead our lives.

2006-10-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

Listening : My Chemical Romance ; The Sharpest Lives

Today's exam was hmm. relatively easy. haha. i tink i did fairly well but could haf done better. Fuck i tink i got food poisoning. Haha had the most sexist arguement over lunch today with karen hazel and pauline. and as usual guys always win! haha. zzz. omg and i cant stop listening to MCR's songs. and i juz finished my new song. titled : Death's Apology.
God i love this song. The Sharpest Lives!

Well it rains and it pours
When your out on your own
If I crash on the couch
Can I sleep in my clothes?
'Cause I've spent the night dancing
I'm drunk, I suppose
If it looks like I'm laughing
I'm really just asking to leave

This alone, you're in time for the show
You're the one that I need
I'm the one that you loathe
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose
'Cause I love all the poison
Away with the boys in the band

I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?
Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empires
So bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampires
So you can leave like the sane abandoned me

There's a place in the dark where the animals go
You can take off your skin in the cannibal glow
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, Romeo
I've really been on a bender and it shows
So why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?

Give me a shot to remember
And you can take all the pain away from me
A kiss and I will surrender
The sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead
A light to burn all the empiresS
o bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be
In love with all of these vampiresS
o you can leave like the sane abandoned me
[x2]

2006-10-29T00:03:00.000+08:00

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where i Started
Chasing after you

i'm falling even more in love with you
letting go of all i've held onto
i'm standing here until you make me move
i'm hanging by a moment here with you

2006-10-27T20:03:00.000+08:00

Listening : Paramore ; Emergency

Let's learn new cliches everyday.

A man's words prove his worth.
If there is no honour in tat,
how honourable the man be?

One should think of happiness as ephemeral
and not seek to find it as a permanent state.

If one's unhappiness is generated by social comparisons,
then instead of comparing oneself wth the rich and famous,
one should be content to count one's blessings.

These r the few i thought of and wrote in my exams today. so proud of myself. haha. but seriously there r not giving us enough time! i wrote till there were inprints of the pen on my finger from the constant tight grip!

Let's see how long i took for the essays, or rather i had to write the essay.
1st essay - 75 mins
2nd essay - 45 mins
3rd essay - 35 mins
4th essay - 20 mins

Yea i tink i got wrecked bad in tat exam. fuked upside down inside out sideways up. Fuk VCAA!
Dickheads run VCAA. Cant u guys fukin gif us more time? could haf wrote like at least 3000 words an essay if i had the time, but no, there isnt enough time! gotta summarize it to like 1000 words each and a detailed essay is expected. God r u guys fukin stupid or something? to tink some of the people on the board holds masters and phds. It seems like u guys haf learned nothing! Go back to skool and i'll teach u how to run the board of studies!

Girl we just need faith, trust and a little pixie dust and things will work out just fine! (:

2006-10-26T13:58:00.000+08:00

Listening : Chariot ; Escape The Fate

Ah. reading the fucking hamlet's soliloquies. God shakespeare soul should burn in hell. How am i gonna remember it to fucking quote it in my exam? -.-

This is how it goes.
Ay so, God bye to you. Now i am alone,
O what a rogue and peasent slave am I!
Is it not monstrous that this player here,
But in a fiction, in a dream of passion,
Could force his soul to his own conceit
That from her working all his visage wanned,
Tears in his eyes, distraction in's aspect,
A broken voice, and his whole function suiting
With forms to his conceit? And all for nothing?
For Hercuba!
What's Hercuba to him, or he to Hercuba,
That he should weep for her? What would he do,
Had he the motive and cue for passion
That i Have? He would drown the stage with tears,
And cleave the general ear with horrid speech,
Make mad the guilty and appal the free,
Confound the ignorant, and amaze indeed
The very faculties of eyes and ears. Yet I,
A dull and muddy-mettled rascal, peak
Like John-a-dreams, inpregnent of my cause,
And can say nothing - no, not for a king,
Upon whose property and most dear life
A damned defeat was made. Am I a coward?
Who calls me villain, breaks my pate across,
Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face,
Tweaks me by th'nose, gives me the lie i'th'throat
As deeps as to the lungs? Who does me this?
Ha, 'swounds, I should take it, for it cannot be
But i am pigeon-livered, and lack gall
To make oppression bitter, or ere this
I should ha' fatted all the region kites
With this slave's offal. Bloody, bawdy villain!
Remorseless, treacherous, lecherous, kindless villain!
Oh, vengeance!

Some1 tell me how i'm gonna remember this? -.-

2006-10-25T17:06:00.000+08:00

Listening: Lukas Rossi ; Greatest Day

When did i ever say i fall in love with u.
Leaving u was the greatest day of my life.

exams starting soon.

2006-10-22T13:38:00.000+08:00

Had a dream abt my family last nite. and i was quarrelling with dad again. even in my dream. lol! ah i miss home. ): my 18th is in 2 weeks! and i'm not looking forward to it. zzzz.

2006-10-21T02:07:00.000+08:00

here r some pics from the cosplay. i'll upload the rest once i got them. zzz. off to slp.

2006-10-20T21:44:00.000+08:00

juz got back from camp tis morning. really tired. i'll update and post the photos soon. night.

2006-10-17T23:50:00.000+08:00

SEESSSSHHHHHHH...... i juz got seriously totally B.M-ED!!!

THIS IS STARTING TO REALLY REALLY PISS ME OFF.

2006-10-16T12:31:00.000+08:00

sick and tired of trying. i'm juz gonna stick to my bleach for the time being. haha.anothe like 70 episodes to go! woohoo.

2006-10-15T12:45:00.000+08:00

H
A
N
G
O
V
E
R

2006-10-14T12:37:00.000+08:00

I want to buy a straight jacket! tat's next on my shopping list. haha. but the thing is. where am i gonna get it? any1 knows? anws i'm going soon. juz woke up. damn tired. i haf heaps of studying to do. but i juz CBF!

2006-10-12T14:35:00.000+08:00

GOD it's like fucking 38 degrees now. i'm wearing a boxer shorts only and i'm vapourizing. and like 2 days back it was like 10 degrees. -.- wat's wrong with the fucking weather. todae's skool was shit. i went to skool and had to do a maths test and another business module sac. zzzzzz. so tat was 4 hrs of skool. then 3 hrs lunch break with lots of ice coffee and swimming at the beach! haha. i tink i got sun burned. 0.o my skin hurtz. anws. i miss conn.

2006-10-11T10:36:00.000+08:00

I'm suffering from serious fatigue and insomnia at the same time. zzz. last nite was the 3rd sleepless and dreamless nite. i tried lying on my bed at like 12. and i only went to slp at like 5. wtf man. and the teacher called me todae. tat's strike 3 on my list. haha. crap.

2006-10-10T11:18:00.000+08:00

Fuk i still cant sleep properly. i tot of the song and tune when i was like half asleep. but now i dun rmb it! omg. zzzzzzzzz. 2 weeks left till i graduate! cant wait! woohoo. 2 years gonna be over soon. cmon days pass faster!

2006-10-09T11:10:00.000+08:00

Seriously. i hate anon ppl tagging my blog. dare to say or ask something. then dare to tell me ur name. at least i knoe who is asking or saying something. it's juz stupid.

Anw. i'm feeling so crap todae. my eyes and head hurts and my body's aching. need so much slp. but i juz cant seem to fall asleep. and no i'm not feeling emo or anything. i juz cant fukin slp! geez.

Ok got alot of studying to do.

2006-10-08T19:55:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to think tat nik has some serious female hormones in him. -.- zzzz.
An hour ago he said he was gonna eat. then he came back on msn.
Sean: wah fuk u take so long to eat. fukin guniang.
Teo: ya la. faster let's play.
Nik: eh i havent eat lei.
Sean: wtf u knnnbccbhggbp#%$#^%&^*%&(*
Sean: wat haf u been doing all this while?
Teo: fuk u nik
Nik: eh i go eat now. father kb already.
now an hour later again. he still havent fukin eat finish. zzzzzz. fuk u nik! u're worst than teo. 3 hrs on a cab to get from dairy farm to bukit tiamh.

2006-10-07T21:47:00.000+08:00

I owned tis clown in my dream! woohoo! like fukin kicked tat clown's ass man. fukin gif me a nightmare. haha. i woke up and i was sweating so much.

Today i went over to my fren's place for her bdae party. i went over. wished her happy bdae. and i ended up playing winning eleven 9 wid her bro. haha. for like 2 hrs then i went home. :p

i tot i quit politics awhile back already. suddenly overnight i'm having to deal with so much politics again. but well it's keep me occupied and entertained. lol.

2006-10-06T17:55:00.000+08:00

Last nite i dreamt abt playin soccer. then nite be4 i dreamt abt playin bball. haha. hmm. abt time to stop skipping classes and going to the beach. lol. and my appetite today is really good. after being starved ytd over those 2 incidents. fahhhh.....

3 more piercings. and i'll be done. can't wait. and i'm screwed for my methods exams!! hoho. i killing so many brain cells trying to do it yet i still dun understand.!!

And tat fukin vintage cellars better haf my absinthe when i go there. if not i'm so gonna kill some1.

Today is such a bad day.

2006-10-05T16:21:00.000+08:00

Today has been such a fukin bad day. zzz. during the 1st break time inbetween lectures today, i was eating bread. and my fren starts showing me a video of a beheading, followed by heaps of images and videos of dead ppl. i was like wtf man. the worst part is tat u're eating and u dun wan to look at it but u gotta coz u're curious. and it wrecked my appetite. then when i went for lunch wid a group of frenz, we got kfc take away and were walking arnd the plaza. then when 1 of my frenz went to get smokes, the rest of us set on tis bench and ate. a old woman pushing tis young girl in the supermarket trolley, starting pushing very fast and stopped like right beside us. then the fukin girl puked like 10 cm away from me. when i was fukin eating! and the fukin white bitch doesnt even sae sori. juz gifs me the stare when i walked away. fukin hoe. wat's wrong wid all the fukin people todae!woohoo to top it off. i gotta fukin shift soon and i hurt my knee walking up the stairs at home! fuk tis. and fuk all of u for spoiling my appetite. r u like fukin stupid u fukin fuks? I'll fukin kill all u fuks.

2006-10-04T14:08:00.000+08:00

9 months 1week 3 days 17 hrs 22 mins.
That's how long we've been in the desert.
We do our daily routines of hydrating, suiting up and suiting down.
It gets so boring that we can't wait to go out and kill something.
Everyday we have target practices against a granite wall.
The world revolves around masturbation.
Running drills.
Further masturbation.
Thinking about our girlfriends and wives getting fucked by other guys.
Followed by even further masturbation.
Live of a soldier.

Jarhead.

2006-10-04T11:31:00.000+08:00

went to the hospital instead of school today. rah. seriously my mind has gotta gif me some rest. i havent been slp-ing well! omg. fatigue's catching up.

Negligence kills it all.

Feeling shunned!

2006-10-03T21:32:00.000+08:00

Studying has been keeping me occupied. but every like half an hour my mind starts drifting off again. fuk and tat pisses me off so bad. zzz. when i get back to the question i juz forget where i left off and haf to read over again. and yea todae. the lecturer ticked me off again. -.- fukin dick. askin me if i got a lollipop. wtf man.

School Starts Tomorrow! OMG!

2006-10-02T20:24:00.000+08:00

Man school starts tml. wat a bore. boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. and the most stupid thing is tis fukin skool term is 12 skool days! omg wtf man. wat a waste of my time. zzzzzz. might as well gif me the exams straight. wasting my time then stretching the exams over 3 weeks. -.- y dun they put all in a week. zzzzzz. stupid school! and i bet when i go to skool tml i'm juz gonna keep gettin yelled at by the lecturers. fukin lecturer doesnt like me. bastard.

2006-10-01T14:44:00.000+08:00

Today's the 1st of oct! woohoo. tis year passed kinda slow actually. but it's been 1 of the best years of my life ever. even though i hate aus. there r a few other factors tat out weighs it so significently.

Reminiscing:
18th april... I talked to her for the 1st time.
16th september... we went out for the 1st time.
16th september... bought flowers for the 1st time.
16th september... smoked sheshe for the 1st time.
17th september... went to serangoon gardens for the 1st time.
17th september... went to tis hougang place for the 1st time.
19th september... went to chomp chomp for the 1st time.
21st september... caught up wid bros tat i havent seen for a long time.
24th september... missed my flight for the 1st time.(haha)

Praying:
Many many more days like tis where every1 is tight.
No more conflicts between bros.(sick of it)
Dan's side and alan side to get together again.(cmon guys. y do i always haf to be the middle man?)
being able to see u every min every sec of the day everyday. (shld knoe who u refers to)
HC (Homebound Catastrophe) to do well. (to start off guys! start learning ur instruments!)

And i wish i was a genius so i dun haf to study and do well for my exams. lol. (kidding)

2006-09-30T20:48:00.000+08:00

Girl i juz wan to tell u. it's really good to hear ur voice sayin my name. it sounds so sweet. from the lips of an angel.
i've made mistakes i'm juz a man.
there were times i've been selfish, demanding. times i pissed u off so bad. times tat i din even knoe wat i was doin. i guess i juz wan to let u knoe tat i'm waiting here rite now. i'll gif u all the time i haf in the world.
i've been kinda upset over stuff the past few days. but now. i'm above all tat. (:
If u read tis. i juz wan u to knoe i love u and i'm waiting for u. no matter how long u take.

2006-09-30T18:02:00.000+08:00

This is a memo to myself. Dun read it if u're not me.

haha. now.
i understand how it feels like.
i understand the grounds i'm standing on.
i understand where i'm coming from.
i understand where i'm heading.
i understand where it leads to.

wat i wan to knoe is.
where u're coming from.
where ure heading.

wat i haf.
tis heart
tis soul
every single breath
every ounce of energy

wat i dun haf YET. lol.
money
time
juz abt every other superficial needs.

and wat i wan is as clear as crystal glass.

october

2006-09-30T14:22:00.000+08:00

once october starts. it's gonna be study study study everyday. wooo... i'm so "looking" forward to tat. so exciting. zzzzzz.

Lips of an angel

2006-09-29T13:17:00.000+08:00

Lips of an angel- Hinder

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those wordsa it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it so hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late

2006-09-28T11:56:00.000+08:00

When i'm feeling down i visit my sister's blog. there's a link there. to me it's the most depressing music ever. it's called white paradise. it's so depressing tat it becomes soothing. sorta like music to tears. each time u sit there in the middle of the nite alone crying, listen to it. it links all ur senses and emotions. takes everything out of ur heart for tat moment u're listening to it. as u feel those warm tears stream down ur cheeks on a cold winther nite. then open u're eyes and haf a look arnd u. rmb tat no 1 is ever always there for u. when ppl sae they r always gonna be there, tat's pure BS. there r many ppl to share ur hopes and dreams with once ur rich and famous. but now? fuk it. tell them something more than once they'll find u irritating. juz tat they've nv said it in ur face. but they do behind ur back. i dun wan to say anymore. but juz for ur info i see things further than u tink. i can differentiate black frm white even if it isnt in front of me. similarly how ur actions nv match ur words. or how u're mood nv matches who u're with. a smile doesnt come up when it shld. words r not soothing. actions not loving. each phrase or action carries a certain amt of undescribable hurt tat cuts deep and leaves a scar. sorta like the hair i haf now. after awhile the colour fades. and wat's left is nuttin but the bleached colour. which is no difference frm hollowness. a hollowness that haunts u every second every minute.

i'm tired.

2006-09-27T10:52:00.001+08:00

i'm so so so tired. whole body's aching. filled wid fatigue. down with a cold. everytime i sneeze i forget something i wan to do. fffffffffaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!

What the what it's ladylike

2006-09-27T10:52:00.000+08:00

I’m sorry bout my girl
Little center of the universe
Access turns the world
I'll need a jet to get to her

All the way she moves attracts all kinds of focus
From all the other rule
She’s not ladylike

Do do do yeah

She’s big, and proud,
And she knows what the world is about

What the what is ladylike if ladies like to do what the what they’re like just like you.
Yeah just like you,
Look out there and contend on another,
What the what is ladylike if ladies like to do what the what they’re like just like you.
Yeah just like you
Look out there and contend on the…

On my knees
On all fours,
From underneath
Hear
Me

What the what is ladylike if ladies like to do what the what they’re like just like you,
Yeah just like you

2006-09-25T15:53:00.000+08:00

I'm in aus again now. argh. tis time i came back wid some many other things on my mind. i had the best time during tis hols.started of the hols wid a great dinner then shesha. and ending it wid lots of swimming and food. had the best of the city kind of life and the more home oriented kind of life. accompanied by my best frenz and also my band mates. and also a very impt person in my life now. the feeling is like tat. u've long for tis thing. and over a span of a week. u get thrown all u desired. but it all goes as fast as it comes. u wan to grap hold of it all yet u cant hold on to anything. and being unsure tat it might juz all change by the time u get back. yet there's nuttin much to be done besides sit there and wait.

playin on the piano hearing sad songs tat makes u tink of times u felt loved. till now i still dun tink tat time is the measurement for love. ask me how i could haf fell in love wid u? it would haf taken longer than tat. but how do u make 9 days seem like we've known each other for a long time? i din haf half a yr. all i had was 9 days to show u my world and how the world would be like. unless i laid all my cards on the table. i wont be able to show u anything. i already did so.

i've always hated cooked vege! now i actually miss ur mum's cabbage soup. lol. if u're gonna ask me how i love u without knowing u? well. the past doesnt matter does it? u cant change ur past. all tat matter is the present and the future. all tat matters to me starts from the moment i knoe u.

2006-09-23T20:05:00.000+08:00

I'm goin back to aus tml!!! I'm goin to miss every1. ): especially conn. ytd was erm. tiring. lol. it's crap! man. i realli cant bear to leave her. u said u'll wait for me to get back. i realli hope so hun. and u look so cute in specs!! lol. and i juz cant believe u can sleep tis morning with a blanket when it was so hot! it was like a frikin sauna. tis week has been SIMPLY GREAT.

The thursday of the week be4 i go back to aus! omg

2006-09-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

went to dye my hair! woohoo! i miss connie now! luv u! :p

2006-09-20T12:18:00.000+08:00

Here r the photos.

Last nite was shesha again! and dinner was great. hun looked really sick last nite on the way home. i'm worried.

Lukas Rossi - Supernova's vocalist now after winning rockstar. has the best song headspin! gotta listen to it.

18th september 2006

2006-09-19T00:42:00.000+08:00

Today we went to cartel to study. lol we studied for like 1/2 and hour and every1 juz wandered off doin all sorts of things. talkin, listening to music, readin mags and no 1 was really studyin. lol. tat was the 1st study session and it was a "failure" lol. then we went kbox after tat. at hougang plaza. which was filled wid ah bengs. like literally flooded wid them. lol. the atmosphere was sorta weird. then i had cabbage soup at hun's place. omg cant believe i actually drank tat. it's like so not me. :p to think i used to pick the bean sprouts out of like noodles. lol. con's mum and uncle was nice. (: dan was thinkin of a band name the whole day. and guess wat. he came up with the idea of black roses. lol. tat sounds so zzzz. the thing i dun get is wat's so funny wid him? lol. con and yvonne was like laughing at him everytime they looked at him. ah where to go tml? sg's boring!

Nice flowers?

2006-09-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

Nice flowers hun? lol. they're suppose to be black!

16th september 2006

2006-09-18T00:43:00.000+08:00

We were at Sahara last nite. at boat quay. it was the best ever. though it was like an indian bar. lol. really enjoyed myself. we had 'white russian' which tasted like bailey's tequilla tat tasted like " evian water gone bad and seesha! lol seesha was the best. the club was filled wid indians and whites. and we were like the only chinese in there. funny as. bet well it's the 1 day tat i really enjoyed. be4 tat we had dinner at via mar. the served the appetizers after the main course! lol. wat a joke. so connie and i ended up having to hag the main course and appetizers at the same time. lol. thx hun. u gave me the best date i ever had. (:

My love

2006-09-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

My love is like this - Backstreet Boys 'All I Have To Give'

I don't know what he does to make you cry
But I'll be there to make you smile
I don't have a fancy car
To get to you I'd walk a thousand miles
I don't care if he buys you nice things
Does his gifts come from the heart?
I don't know
But if you were my girl
I'd make it so we'd never be apart

But my love is all I have to give
Without you I don't think I could live
I wish I could give the world to you
But love is all I have to give

When you talk (when you talk) does it seem like he's not
Even listening to a word you say?
That's okay babe, just tell me your problems
I'll try my best to kiss them all away
Does he leave (does he leave) when you need him the most?
Does his friends get all your time?
Baby please
I'm on my knees

To you... (hey girl) hey girl, I don't want you to cry no more inside
All the money in the world could never add up to all the love
I have inside... I love you

And I will give it to you
All I can give, all I can give
Everything I have is for you
But love is all I have to give

But my love is all I have to give
Without you I don't think I can live
I wish I could give the world to you
But love is all I have to give... to you

hehe... :)

Smoking

2006-09-11T18:34:00.000+08:00

OMG!! i'm suffocating. forgot to buy cigs! fuk fuk fuk! dying. the air feels so thin, so hollow so empty now. fuk! it's like i cant breathe and my throat is so uncomfortable! god! lesson learnt. tis will be the last time i forget to buy smokes!

2006-09-10T20:47:00.000+08:00

Fahh.. i need to get alot alot of new studs. suddenly i realized i've lost abt every single stud. lol. some of which i din even knoe how i lost them. omg. tat's like 100 bux of studs tat i realized was lost.

MIsses

2006-09-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

I miss connie

I miss secondary school life

I miss singapore

I miss the weather

I miss daniel

I miss all my friends!

I miss roti prata

I miss my family

I miss my sister

):

2006-09-04T22:17:00.000+08:00

D

E

A

D

T

I

R

E

D

Continued

2006-09-03T14:19:00.000+08:00

Alrite so we heard preston sensuality speak in our skool. he's good. but reggie dabs is da bomb. like he said he's juz a little chocolate. yet his words touch every single heart in the arena last nite. well if he din one thing for sure is he definately touch mine. we really need to haf a concert like tat in singapore!

Youth alive is the best!

2006-09-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

The youth alive concert today was the BOMB!!!! it was like screaming then dancing then moshing then singing then screaming again then more screaming and screaming. so basically my body is wrecked now and i like lost my voice! lol. and we went to haf like an after party after the concert. so there was more singing more dancing more screaming. and tis time there was booze! lol. so to top it up i'm like half drunk now!! :p woohoo so gonna haf a good sleep tonite! oh yeah and i really regret cutting my hair myself. lol. it's like so short and uneven now. :p and tis chick at the concert scratched my face when we were moshing!!! fuk. now i haf a line up my face. zzzzzz....... anws we'll continue tis tml. i'm dead. (:

Enough

2006-08-31T19:46:00.000+08:00

I'm

Losing

My

Voice

Tired

2006-08-31T14:49:00.000+08:00

i wish i could juz sleep for the rest of tis week. got to skool todae and did 2 test tat i totally forgot abt. then we had a wrestling session. then we played rugby for like to hours. and i feel totally dead now. haf band practise in like 2 hrs time. omg! alrite guys. no more practise tis week! i still haf so much work to do. last nite i was abt to go to sleep and i ended up stayin up online for another 2 hours chatting. but yeah it was worth it. lol. and yeah tis sat's concert. meh juz do a slack 1. i seriously CANT BE STUFFED!!!

What are heros?

2006-08-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

I'm not a hero

I'm juz a boy

Who has been taught to be a man

Alice nine

2006-08-29T19:16:00.000+08:00

Mayb i'm gay. lol! they're hot!

Tired

2006-08-28T18:11:00.000+08:00

omg i feel so damn tired todae. been sleeping like a pig the whole dae. best described as physically and mentally drained. lol. GIF ME A BREAK!

Visual Kei enough?

2006-08-27T17:58:00.000+08:00

Ha. Love the band dress code man! Visual Kei enough?

Random

2006-08-26T17:56:00.000+08:00

Ah la. meh. let's all sae random things for the rest of the week. lol. it's been a really random week. la though i tink pick up lines r lame. but i bet none of u can tink of better ones than me!!! :p ahahah especially u nik! u suck. it doesnt mean every girl tat looks at u means she wans u to hit on her! omg. u dumb fuk. lol. tis was wat happen.

Scene: at the beach
People: Girl(with a bf tat we din knoe was her bf) , and nik.

So yeah. the girl was lookin at him. and he was like "hey. tat chick is staring at me." and i'm like " u knoe how u get the feeling tat some1 is looking at u when u look at them? when u're like so checking her out. of coz she tends to look over and tink wtf is wrong wid tis guy! lol" and he's like " no no. she's like saying come hit on me!" at tis point i knew it was pointless to say anything. lol. but well i did anyway. " u're hopeless. get a grip. she's saying keep ur flag down u fag. stop checkin me out. u aint got wat it takes. lol"
Well he din believe me so he went over and asked the girl for her number. and her BF WAS RITE BESIDE HER!! lol. i was laughing my head off. well i din quite believe it was her bf. i was juz tinkin tat she's using tat guy to pretend he's her bf to get nik off her back. lol. tat guy look too 'faggoty' to be her bf. well all i can say is she's hot, but not my cup of tea. (: and nik u still suck. lol. u shld listen to me next time. so u wont get bitch slapped again like last week at the loft. lol. and like the other time u almost got ur ass kicked at violet. lol.

OMG!

2006-08-26T09:52:00.000+08:00

crap. the concert is in like 2 hrs time!! and i still havent got my make-up done. crap. how the fuk do u use an eye liner?!!! I'm not tat metro yet! how can u expect me to knoe how to use an eye liner? -.-

Wat does tis mean?

2006-08-25T22:10:00.000+08:00

This were her exact words to me. i want a bf. now now now. come back to sg! Pfft as if i can help u? i gotta import somemore absinthe man!! oh yeah she's nuts.

Confessions week

2006-08-22T20:06:00.000+08:00

Hey any one else of u out there haf any more confessions to make? hurry up and do it tis week man. i had like so many confessions already. woohoo! dun u juz love it. being kept in the dark? the ignorance? feeling dumb? feeling of being lied to all the while? well i'm simply loving it! any1 else has anymore news to break to me? lay it all out on the table now man.

Fuk man

2006-08-21T20:58:00.000+08:00

gee for fuk sake. wtf is tis? wtf u all dissing me for when i dun even knoe wtf it's abt. all i had was a dance wid some girl and i haf ppl getting cut and throwing random stuff at me? alrite when typing tis half way i juz found out some shit tat i din knoe had been goin on for like more than a year. god! now i'm feeling so fuked rite up the ass.

Clumsy

2006-08-21T18:26:00.000+08:00

i'll like still asleep. so clumsy today. 1st i hit my face on the classroom door. then i walked home and i closed my eye for 5 seconds and i hit a tree. then during dinner i was taking stuff out of the microwave and i forgot to close it. then i turned arnd and hit the door. fish. i'll post the photos from the party up after i get them. cheers.

Important

2006-08-17T22:37:00.000+08:00

I juz created a new blog that isn't emo based! lol. it's a plea to help other's arnd the world. all of us can help someway or another. the link to it is on my blog. the organisation is named Underground. help to let ur fren knoe abt tis blog too. coz every1 can help in a way or another. thx. http://undergroundorg.blogspot.com/

Sex

2006-08-15T16:45:00.000+08:00

Don't we all seek the 1 sport or exercise tat will burn the most carbo in the shortest time? one where we can work out every muscle in the body at the same time. so tat we can keep in shape no matter wat we eat? and so often u c ppl out there who dun get fat no matter wat they eat? well there actually is a secret exercise tat not many ppl no of.

Today i'll share tis secret exercise wid every1. (: the 1 exercise/sport is sex. sex has always been seen as an act of intimacy and lust. but it has been scientifically proven tat sex burns more carbohydrates than any other sport/exercise in half the time tat u do for any other sport/exercise. sex also exercises/work-outs every single muscle in ur body. tis makes sex the healthiest and most efficient in all cardio work-outs.

Now i guess u shld knoe y i've always been able to eat wat i wan and not get fat hey? ( ; well now tat u knoe the secret to my diet. dun go arnd tellin every1. ( : tis is also the reason y sex is becoming so common. -peace

Liars

2006-08-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

tis world is filled wid liars. every1 arnd me is 1. simple dun sae wat u r not gonna do and dun promise wat u cant keep. i got nuttin else to say.

Frikin! @!#%!

2006-08-14T17:41:00.000+08:00

Shit skool. i got another sac for the same subject again tml. tat's like 3 weeks in a roll. frikin!!! fahh..... skool is shit. it's like so boring.and english lecture was pure bullshit todae. we had a new teacher. and guess wat. she was like: " class do u all know how to spell extreme?" every1 was like wtf. HELLO! do we look like we're in grade 3 or something? then we were like "hmm. X-T-R-E-M-E! i tink tat's how u spell it miss. Tat's XTREME without the E. Juz the X." so she din sae anything. then we carried on with class. then she stopped at the word alligator. then she asked; "Do all of u knoe wat an alligator is?" and i was oh i knoe i knoe! raising my hand jumping up and down the seat looking very enthusiastic. so she was like: "Yes? sorry i forgot ur name. wat's ur name again?" then i said: " oh my name is sean. it's ur first day u r here. u dun even knoe my name how can u forget it? unless u r pulling my leg?(get it? pulling my "leg") lol." "I think an alligator is a species of dogs? right right? oh please tell me i'm right." and then she went like: " no sean, and alligator is a fresh water crocodile." and i was like " woooo. wat's a crocodile? do they smell like flowers?" lol. yeah so i tink i seriously pissed the crap out of her. but anws we continued wid the lesson. so we were talkin abt tis woman. and we said she was determined in wat she did. then she asked (AGAIN): " do u knoe how to spell determined?" at tis point of time. the whole class was like oh screw u. so every1 ignored her. and for the rest of the lecture every1 was just doing their own stuff. basically no 1 was listening to her talking. lol. and she acted like an idiot there talking to herself. wat a joke. hey! go back and like teach prepies! anws tat's was the main highlight of the day. and guess wat. we have her for class again tml? OMFG! let's all bag her up and beat the shit out of her!!!

Wat's this?

2006-08-13T22:36:00.000+08:00

it feels as though i dun knoe u at all. i dun knoe any of u. so wat if we are "frenz"? this word means anything to u? gee i wonder. wat's goin through ur head? wat do u feel? well tell u something. I D-O-N-T G-I-V-E A F-U-C-K. take ur candy stick and shove it up ur candy ass for me please. thx. ur effort is very much appreciated. now now hop away on ur candy stick before i start taking care of things myself. coz i'm very sure u wont like it.

Now u wonder. do i mean wat i say? keep thinking. and hopefully u will get the answer one day. just hopefully.

U pissed the shit out of me!

2006-08-13T22:11:00.000+08:00

U wanna knoe wat i tink dun u? 10 mins ago u fukin pissed the shit out of me. like seriously bad. wat did u tink ur sorry will do? solve everything? u gotta be kiddin me. tis isnt the 1st time tis has happened. juz becoz i dun say anything doesnt me i like it. so u tot i din knoe u r acting dumb all tis fukin while? cmon. do i look tat fukin stupid to u tat i cant tell? it's like "HELLO. BIG DICKHEAD HERE! HAHA!" " LET'S ALL POINT FINGERS AT HIM AND LAUGH!". and u knoe wat?

DO
THAT
AND
I'LL
FUCKING
WALK
OVER
AND
CUT
UR
HEAD
OFF

No strings attached

2006-08-13T19:11:00.000+08:00

This game is called No Strings Attached.

The game simply has the name because tat's exactly wat it is. there will always be an attraction of some sort between male and female. but there's no affection and no point of settling down. at every stage of our lives we all require some "care", "concern" and "love". well tat's the reason tis game was designed.

The rules are simple. 2 people are together no in the name of love. when one party falls in love the game is over. when u fall in love with someone else, the game is over. at any point of time, any party can choose to back out and there won't be any thing said.

The purpose of the game is so tat both parties will feel accompanied during tis point of time.

Deceased time: 01:20am 13/08/2006

2006-08-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

Second time since i came back now i've been stabbed. and it hurts so bad. this is wat opening up do to u. it takes u by the heart and squeezes it so hard tat it shatters.

Tonight i declare tat the flame has died. love has ceased to exist. i can tell u i dun gif a fuk abt anything anymore. simply becoz i've dug my grave, laid in it and covered it well.

Today i died. there's nuttin left to say or change. tat's the way things are.

Unbreakable?

2006-08-12T22:40:00.001+08:00

All the while. i seem like i dun gif a fuk abt anything in tis world. till the point where my mum asked me: "do u care about anything? U r juz an iron casing tat's hollow inside." and my reply was "i had something once. it was given. but it was never returned."

Then i came to tink. once i did haf emotions. once i did haf feelings. i used to love. tat was back then. when my heart was made of glass. but once it breaks. it'll nv be the same again. u mend it back. but it's not perfect anymore. and to prevent it from breaking again u shield it with anything tat u think is unbreakable. and tat's when ur heart becomes untouchable. nothing goes in. nothing comes out. it suffocates itself. putting itself to the brim of extinction.

How do u expect me to trust mere words from the mouth tat would come to mean nothing in a matter of time? wat are promises? they're simply words. they cant keep feed u. they cant cloth u. so wat's the point in promises?

Recently someone told me tis; " dw. i'll always be there." but no matter how hard i tried. i still cant believe it. well it does take a lot of courage to trust some1. as for me. i'm gutless. i dun have tat kind of courage. well till proven. i'm sorry to say they are but words to me.

No music!

2006-08-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

crap. i cant go into iwebmusic. fukin site is shit. screws my com up everytime i go in there. zzzz. and so i cant get music for the blog. zzz.

3:15 am

2006-08-12T01:17:00.000+08:00

i juz saw tis person's blog. fukin stupid. she puts a picture of herself then she goes oh my shirt says top model but i knoe i can nv be 1. how ironic. gee then dun fukin wear it. stupid cunt. burn the shirt as seriously speaking u can nv be 1. so stop giving urself ideas. shit man. i cant sleep. and skool seriously suck shit. y the fuk do so many haf their birthdays during august?!!! last month there were barely any parties. and tis month there's like 3 parties every nite. omg! i guess christmas time is like mating season. which would kinda explain y there r so many august babies. and i tink my parents mating season is like during chinese new year. coz both me and my sister haf our birthdays during november! lol. now i get wat it means when ppl say that they plan their marriage and plan when to haf children. forget it. blogging has become like

B-O-R-I-N-G!

i'll write again when i tink of something. -peace out!

How it feels

2006-08-11T17:54:00.000+08:00

u knoe. when u fall in love wid some1 they occupy a certain space in ur heart. so u did love tat person initially. however things did not worked out they way u wanted it. so u waited. and waited. day by day tis anticipation is juz eating away at u. not long after, the flame's died. chemistry's gone. wat u r left wid is a hollow heart. and a routine of waiting for tat person everyday. tat's when u r at a lost. and ur heart needs to heal. some take a longer time some take a faster time. some juz choose to replace it wad a certain different feeling tat will overtake tis hollowness in the heart. it's juz covers it. but doesnt really feel the hole.

somehow i feel tat waiting for me has juz become a habit, a daily routine. it's eaten into me and juz become a part of me. wat would u do if ur entire world fell like dominos over a split second? if u let it heal u would haf probably killed ur self by then. so u juz block urself away from everything and feel tis empty space wid hatred for everything. and it certainly has been covering the hole well.

u tink u knoe a person well. u think tat he/she is nice. u remove a certain hatred from ur heart hoping tat tis person can fill it and not leave like the others. yet when a certain small thing doesnt go ur way. u draw back quickly and sharply to avoid anymore damage to be done. tis is when u take another look at them. and u go 'hang on, i've never seen tis side of him/her'. tat's when u realize tat actually all tis while u had no idea all along. u make them out to be perfect in ur mind, hoping tat tat's the case, and only after u get hit in the back then u find out it was juz ur imagination all along.

so? wat has tis taught u? well it basically says. NEVER FUCKING TRUST ANYONE!

Blood is thicker than water?

2006-08-08T18:34:00.000+08:00

u knoe how since young. ppl always tell u tat ur frenz wont always be there for u in ur times of trouble and the only ppl u can really rely on r only ur family? they keep telling u tat blood is thicker than water? take tat logic and f-ing burn it. if tat's true probably to other ppl. but to me tat statement is far frm true. tis world is juz filled wid too many "people" tat dun gif a f abt anything but themselves. gee. and now i start to tink abt it too. so? who r my family? my teacher was sayin todae. abt how ppl haf a family yet r always workin and nv haf time for their family? tat's not called family. family then can be classed under liabilities. or rather extra-curriculum activities. sad thing is tat i've come to a point where it doesnt really matter if i c my family or not. if bad things happen yes i will be sad. if problems r faced yes i will help. and i respect and love them all the same. but the closeness, the bond is juz not there. simply answering tat if something really does happen it probably wont affect my life tat much as i tink. it will probably yeah. sad for awhile drink a lil cry a lil. then we all get back on wid our lives. become so caught up then 1 day u juz stop and tink abt them for a sec. and u've actually gotten over it long ago. well. i dun c blood any thicker than water. we all haf diluted blood now. though i do miss them but yeah i can do without them. tis is ur own life after all. and seriously u dun rely on any1. only urself. not even ur family. if u die u die if u do well u do well. it's ur life u only haf urself to blame and can only drag urself down. even if u dun agree wid me. tat's my tinkin. at least for now tat is. no 1 will knoe how it changes next time.

Bastard!

2006-08-07T15:58:00.000+08:00

Fukin bastard. piss me off. wat's tis. u tink u can juz wash ur hands off everything juz like tat? well how abt i take a fukin lamp post and shove it up ur mother fukin asshole?i seriously despise u. fukin disgrace. if u dun love ur wife and haf a divorce tat's none of my fukin concern. but dun u tink u r goin too far when u fukin treat ur kids tat way? u haf not fulfilled ur duty as a father in any way. y be 1 in the 1st place then. keep in mind tat the kids r supported by ur wife. while u r out there having fun wid ur gf. ur kids r at home. lookin after themselves and ur wife is workin to support them. so fuk u man! dun let me see u if not i'm goin to fukin break ur skull.

Struggles

2006-08-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

There are always times in life when we struggle to find our true self. life is but an act. every day is a scene of wat seems like a never ending play. there r always those tat play the good guys and those tat play the bad guy. yet those tat always play the good guys are juz hypocritical. and those tat play the bad guys are juz too straight forward. well i'm seriously struggling to find out which is my real self. or rather. the 'real' self tat i wan to be. i've become so good and so used to tis acting tat i've lost my sense of direction. there isnt happiness nor sorrow anymore. the world has juz gone numb. there is always the dilema of followin ur heart or ur mind. somehow i reached tis point. and my brain juz died on me. it juz went totally blank. i totally forgot everything i wanted to sae. fuk. forget it. i wont bother thinking. - to be continued...................

GAY!

2006-08-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

gay. my frenz in aus apparently r debating whether fragrance for man r for metrosexuals only. and they add me into the conversation. -.- and somehow tis fragrance talk turned into a sex talk. god. kinda reminds me of those movies like american pie. where tis guys r juz so desperate and their tinkin is they muz get laid at prom. lol. jokers. oh ya. and they r equally desperate for alcohol. gee wat's the deal wid tat. come to tink of it. the 1st time i did all tis was like almost 4-5 back. lol. MAYB tat's y it doesnt interest me the way it does to them. lol. i'm off. gonna watch tis movie by john travolta!

Updated!

2006-08-06T01:32:00.000+08:00

i've been lazy tis few days. having to be bugged to update my blog. lol. yes piglet i update already. i'm in a semi-subconcious state now. my eyes r barely open. lol. i guessed when i changed to tis blog. it was basically a place for me to bombard all my negative feelings. but now i guess i dun haf any negative feelings to bombard besides how much aus sux. tat's the cause of the significent reduction in my blogging. blogging should soon change from expression of negative to positive feelings. tat's when i'm able to let go of all these negative feelings. no matter how much i hate it. there's still a part tat's desperately hanging on to nuttin. juz and empty space. alrite i need beauty sleep soon. brain dead. nitez.